True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Weed.

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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