How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops