- Anti Joke

Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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