Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

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If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

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drew edminstin is a rat

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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ur an fagit

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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