How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

Refridgerator.

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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