there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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