andrew wagner

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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Q: What happened when Sophie broke her leg? A: She was taken to hospital where she was given a cast, and made a full recovery just in time for the Summer.

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I like poop in my butt

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A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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Without geometry life would be pointless

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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