Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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