Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Jellybeans

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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