Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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