- Anti Joke

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

Women's Rights.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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