Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

What would u like to drink?

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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