Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops