Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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24

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Skrillex.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

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And you honored it I see :P

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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