A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Things that have changed since I was a kid. Turtles: My time, awesome. Today: Shredder is a human which is not a human but actually a Krang, but his daughter which is not his daughter because he is a freaking krang, has a sex thing for Leonardo which is a turtle (the blue one, whatever his name is). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: My time? Well it was awesome back then, fine I admit it, I might have been a bit biased but still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, there where five rangers and yeah that Asian bitch that gave me a boner as a kid made a green one which she giftwrapped to the rest of the team, then some white ranger showed up... But I never watched anything with the white guy, I had lots interest years ago by then (Still play that fighting game for the Snes and thats why I know there is a fucking white ranger... And deathbattle okay) Today: Power Rangers Neon, Power Rangers Tetris, Power Rangers Ultra Power, Power Rangers Sexfighters, Power Rangers Nazi, Power Rangers Texas Rangers, Power Rangers Color, Power Rangers Multiforce Orbital Neo Neon.... And thats just like 03 percent of the variants right? Moral: As a kid we always had a lol when the Asian chick turned into Yellow ranger and did a split kick, which kinda revealed she had a massive dick between her legs... Later we understood that she was a he and that the Ranger Segments are recorded in Japan... Probably by a Hermafrodite... Nah, a guy fine. Oh, and we always lolled at how "gay" the original blue ranger acted he was supposed to be Nerd but I was like eight and was like "lol he just seems gay"... Just for it to turn out that he quit the series because supposedly the rest of the actors mocked him for being gay, Wow thats... Weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops