Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

A man walks into a bar. Then he yelled and held his head in pain. :) www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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