are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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