Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops