Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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