2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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