A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

A baby seal walks into a club.

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

You.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

Why? Because racecar.

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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