Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Wumbo

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Knock knock

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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Gale swallows.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops