I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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GONNA

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Kony 2012

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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