69

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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