While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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What's red and sweet and good to eat? A riddle that rhymes.

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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