Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

MOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops