Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

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Women's rights

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what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Where is Tampa Bay, Florida?

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops