A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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whats black? the colour

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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My name is Jeff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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