Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

lebron

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

This comment is anti to jokes.

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...