Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Jesus wept.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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