Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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