How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Religion

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops