Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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