i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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I went to the store and I fell

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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my bubbles!

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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make me a sandwich!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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