Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Jesus

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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