why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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