It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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The Holocaust

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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Your momma's so fat...

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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