Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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pedophile

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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