3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Why? Because racecar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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hrih

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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