Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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lebron

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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