What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

hrih

thumb_up thumb_down -18

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -76

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

thumb_up thumb_down +37

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

womens sports...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops