What rymes with milk..... milf

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

A fat man on a moped

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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