Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -169

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +150

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

thumb_up thumb_down

123457

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops