two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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