Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

Why is the ground wet It rained

Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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