What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

I have an idea! You leave.

What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

A: Do you like it B: No

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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