You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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Adam is gay tom is here that's nice

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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