Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops