Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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9

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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