Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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69

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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