Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What the corn in the core? The mexican antelope.

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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whats a joke

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops