A jew walks into a bar and asked for 5 shots the bartender replies to him "did you and your wife have a fight" "yeah now shes atheist"

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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