Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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what's up? my penis.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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black people

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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I like touching my boobs

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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