Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

What does two plus two equal? 4

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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