What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a black guy walks into a black bar

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -26

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Heskey time.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You know what's gay?? Lesbians

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops