What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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25

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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scientology.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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