A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

I like touching my boobs

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

Knock knock come in.

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

womens rights

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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