What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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Q: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Q: So what's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? A: The punchline of this joke,

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Beka has AIDS

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Albert your flies undone.

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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